Thoughts

Well, it is the night before Lil E's  emg, trying not to let my mind wander and just go with the flow when we get there.  Spoke with Big d, who is away on business trip.  It is funny how you know how things are going, but you choose to ignore it, but then when your own child brings it to your attention; then it is telling you a lot.  When talking on the phone tonight I could notice a big change in the tone when big d was talking with Lil E and how he talked to me.  The tone was all pleasant and happy, but when the conversation switched to me the tone changed completely almost to disgust or dislike.  I have noticed it often, but it becomes a reality check when someone else points out that exact same thing and they ask me why I let someone talk to me like that.  They are right; what kind of example am I setting for them and what is Lil E hearing and learning when I allow someone to talk to me in that negative tone?  I guess I need to really think about it and lead/teach by example of what I allow to be said to me and how.  It hasn't changed and has gone on for sometime; there is almost a hatred or disgust that I hear in the tone.  Just wanted to release my thoughts on that one, it doesn't help having a conversation like that and then also try to stay composed for your little one.   

On a lighter note I found the cutest fabric that was milled in Japan, for Lil E.  I thought about making him a little couch pillow or a thinking pillow, since the material has such positive thoughts on it.  Check it out, so cute!!  

And life goes on.